I’m going thru something (again…)
All control systems went wild.
The captain is panicking.
It’s fly or die kinda situation.
To no one’s surprise,
the trigger is work.
I feel that success is so close,
yet for some reason, I can’t reach it.
I’m stuck.
Fortunately, it’s not my first rodeo.
As an experienced rider,
I have my tricks to get back on track.
First of all, let’s objectively look what’s going on:
I have published 50+ journals, a perfect streak starting July 5h 2023
Now I want to promote my work, make both my existing
peoplefriends & newpeoplefriends take notice & fall in love with what I doI want them to pay as well. Our bank account is again running low + Barca plans need fuel to materialize
My biggest challenge right now is
how to showcase my work so that people see & love it
or at least give it some of their attention.
And of course, turning that attention into dollars.
Never forget about it.
I have quite a few ideas bouncing in my mind, some of them quite nice.
It’s not in the idea department that I lack anything.
It’s about courage,
rising above my fears & disbelief.
But what do I fear, really?
I fear I will invest many hours into this “move” and it will translate to 5 likes & 23 Złoty
I fear I should be working on something else, something more directed at making big bucks, like getting a Generative AI startup job
I fear I can’t create content as stunning as I would like it to be, or that it would take millions of hours to get it to the desired quality
I fear I won’t have time to get it done the way I want it
I fear Nati is mad at me for choosing again my journals over something “lucrative” and more certain
I fear the whole journal project is a mistake, as am I.
Now we’re in the eye of the storm.
Self-worth or rather lack of it.
How can I think people will fall in love with what I do if even I don’t respect myself and my craft?
I’m consistently doubting my ability, my work, my whole Self.
As long as I stay high, push away emotions,
things somehow get going.
But the first moment of silence, opening up,
my self-hatred pops up to the surface again.
I don’t deserve it.
I’m a good person, or at least I’m trying.
I really do give a lot, even when I don’t feel like it.
I have my flaws, yes.
Everyone does.
But am I really such a piece of shit that parts of me want me to believe?
I don’t earn much yet, that’s right.
But I’m moving in the right direction.
I still have bad days when I turn into a dementor,
but 10x less frequently than I did in the past.
I still rely on my parents for support,
but with every week my independence only grows.
I still hurt,
but it’s love that prevails.
Maybe the time has come
to let go of the torment?
Don’t I, as everybody does, deserve some more (self) love, slack & understanding?
If these journals, this project really are what makes me feel alive (AND IT DOES!!!), can I finally grant myself permission to go after them with full confidence, power & dedication?
The big question, the turning point is:
Can Bartosz himself fall in Bartosz love?
Embrace.
🈚 Bonus: ChatGPT as my therapist
Please imagine you are a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, psychologist, and life coach.
As a part of therapy, your patient has written down below journal entry.
What are your 3 main observations about this person's mental health standing & his life situation?
What would be your 3 recommendations?
Observations about the Person's Mental Health Standing & Life Situation:
Struggle with Self-Doubt and Self-Worth: The person is grappling with a significant internal battle regarding their self-worth and confidence. They doubt their abilities, work, and whether they deserve success. This struggle seems to be impacting their emotional well-being and their ability to fully embrace their creative endeavors.
Work-Related Stress and Performance Anxiety: The person's emotions appear to be tied to their work and their pursuit of success. They are experiencing a high level of stress and performance anxiety due to their desire to promote their work, gain recognition, and translate their efforts into financial stability. This is creating a constant tension between their aspirations and their fears of failure.
Balancing Passion and Practicality: The person is torn between their passion for their creative project (journals) and the practical concerns of financial stability and the opinions of others (like Nati's perspective). This struggle is contributing to feelings of guilt and conflict within themselves.
Recommendations:
Cultivate Self-Compassion: It's essential for the person to develop self-compassion and practice self-forgiveness. They need to recognize that self-worth isn't solely tied to external success and that mistakes and setbacks are a natural part of any creative journey. Integrating self-compassion practices, such as mindfulness and self-affirmations, can help counteract their self-doubt.
Manage Expectations and Fears: The person's fears of failure and criticism are impacting their willingness to take action. Setting realistic expectations and reframing their mindset around "success" can alleviate some of this pressure. Encourage them to define success in terms of personal growth and fulfillment rather than solely external validation.
Seek Support and Balance: The person is relying heavily on their creative work to define their self-worth. Encourage them to seek a support system that includes friends, mentors, or professionals who can provide constructive feedback and encouragement. Moreover, help them strike a balance between their creative passion and practical responsibilities, considering avenues that can support financial stability without sacrificing their passion.
Ultimately, the person needs to recognize that their worth isn't solely determined by external validation or financial success. By addressing their self-doubt, managing fears, and finding a healthier balance, they can approach their creative endeavors with more confidence, resilience, and a greater sense of self-love.
🏖️ Amazing Things Today
🏖️ Late Night Co-Working with Nati
The experienced Influencer helping out a Newbie.
Good times & amazing effect.
I love our creative sessions.
🏖️ “Can Bartosz fall in Bartosz.love?” Purge Writing
The good ole’ cleanse & rejuvenation.
This kind of writing has its place too.
Don’t push it/feelz away!
🏖️ Crushing it with 1st draft of stories/journal announcement
Sat down & simply did it.
Power unleashed.