Almost midnight.
I feel guilty for not being in bed yet,
but at the same time I know I need to be here.
Writing.
I feel like Hercules.
Not in the sense of godlike aesthetics (quite the opposite - I struggle a lot with accepting my looks lately, feel ugly),
infinite power (same here, feelin’ pretty drained most of the time),
but because of the Trials I’m facing.
The Labours of Bartocles.
I wasn’t expecting how big of a challenge this period will be.
I’m giving my 110% and it keeps feeling not enough.
It’s murdering me seeing Nati this exhausted & moody.
It breaks my heart when Hig clearly doesn’t get enough to cover his love needs.
I’m frustrated with myself for not having better solutions, something to lift the weight we all carry.
Fuck it.
I want to be even better, and I can do it.
This situation is my opportunity to rise even higher.
Dig deeper.
Let go of everything that keeps us heavy.
I can make our life better by making myself better.
Ignite the change.
Start from within.
And it’s not at all about getting more tense & serious & god forbid “productive”.
We need the opposite of this shit.
Easy, lax, full of smiles…
Energetic, loose, fun.
Swirlin’ like a glam slurpy.
Careless, light in spirit.
Bring back the joy.
Make livin’ cool again.
Bananza!
FUCK TENSE JUST DANCE
Amazing things:
⭐ Another day of giving
I’m doing what I can to keep Hugi in high spirits.
It’s not easy.
He misses Nati dearly, and there’s only so much I can do…
It’s tough when my best efforts are not enough to keep him afloat…
But I’m not letting it discourage me.
If only, I try even harder, or rather in this case SOFTER.
⭐ Packing the ranch
A bittersweet first half of the day.
My parents visited to help clean up the items and prepare the house for the winter.
Lots of work.
The physical aspect + the camaraderie were absolute pleasures.
I love good ol’ fieldwork, and my parents were joy to be around.
However, this event hit me hard on the emotions.
It felt like end of an era, first in the series of goodbyes to a home, a place which brought so much into our life.
Sure, I have no certainty how things will turn out after Spain, we might return to Boroszewo for a while.
But my feelings don’t lie:
the current chapter is ending, and new Portal is opening.
Time to fly out from the Golden Nest
and experience the World.
⭐ Top Model
We both religiously wait for Saturday evening.
The only 100% chill time in our busy weeks.
This time was no different.
3 minutes into the episode, and 98% of the tension is gone.
Relax & Reset
⭐ Afternoon with Hugi
Octonauts + me napping alongside
Slime Mania (top 40 min fun)
Co-eating gyros
I will never forget these weeks, if only because of how closer they brought us.
⭐ Labours of Bartocles
I’m treating this period as a training ground, and rite of passage.
Why did I suddenly remind myself of my childhood hero and his challenges?
I really don’t know…
But this perspective of being a tiny bit like him, of having to win over seemingly insurmountable trials gave me winds.
I can and will.


⭐ Nati being completely sucked into my journals after reading one entry
I showed her one piece because I thought it could help her find new perspective.
She read it, it worked.
Then a magical thing happened.
She just couldn’t stop reading further, got glued to my world.
“As if I’m reading a great book”
“All I want is to read further”
“So funny & real”
I’m onto something, folks.
It’s working!!!