🌅 5 June 2023 Saying Yes To Myself & The Journey
Explosions of joy, warmth & power.
What an epic day!
I can’t remember the last time I’ve experienced so many extreme highs in a single day.
I felt elated, elevated, illuminated.
The record-breaking hug with Hug-i, the tears of joy & contentment listening to my theme song on the walk, the otherwordly almost-feel-like-flying sensation in meditation couple minutes ago, feeling able, strong & effective at work.
This day was a true blessing.
🏖️ Amazing Things:
🏖️ Record Hug
It happened right after the walk, when Hugi woke up. I picked him up, as I always do. I offered to hug him, as I always do. He accepted, as he usually does. Now starts the magic: instead of usual 10 seconds, we stood embraced for what felt like 3? minutes. I could feel his breath synchronise with mine, the tiniest movements of his arms, it almost seemed like we were becoming one. What a moment. Wow.
🏖️ “Here’s to Life, to Dreamers & Their Dreams” 🎧Dreams - Vanilla
Hearing this anthem brought a flurry of genial feelings. I felt proud of myself, genuinely happy with the work I’ve done towards, well, realizing my dream. It’s still early days, but I know I’m on the right track.
🏖️ Getting It Done
Workout / Meditation / Writing / Work / Family Life - I crushed it. Anything I’ve touched turned gold. How often days like this happen? Another reason to celebrate.
🏖️ Little Spa / Self-Love Treatment
Despite so much happening at work, I’ve made time to treat myself to some pleasures - shaving, mustache trim, eyebrow modelling.
🏖️ Hugi Splashing My Dad & Me With Water Hose
Denis the Menace back at it. So much fun!
💞 I am grateful for:
💞 The New Journey
Today feels special. I feel it's the beginning. I am already on the station, hugged my goodbyes, all that's left to do is get on board. I have everything to make this trip beautiful, most importantly heart open to NEW. I’m excited. Ecstatic. What adventures await away from old? Who will I meet? How will the unknown change me? Whatever's coming, I want ALL of it.
💞 Today
My muse, northern light, guiding star. I’m only beginning to learn how to give you love you deserve. I’m thankful for discovering your meaning & promise to honour you forever. Day by day.
🧠 On my mind:
🧠 Work - Linkedin Launch & Daily Journals
I feel both scared and excited for what's coming.
As to the launch - I still need to finish the most important part: the actual post. I've been postponing doing it because: 1) It means its go-time (and that’s scary) 2) I feel there's still something more I want to say (it feels good to finally acknowledge this) 3) I wanted & still want to have at least 1 piece/journal to represent me of today before launching
Here's where the daily journals come in.
I feel ready to give myself the chance. I've been experimenting, refining, playing with this process/idea long enough to know I LOVE it & can pull it off. I really do have everything to make it work. The only missing ingredient is DECISION.
Do I trust, believe in, love myself enough to allow myself to fly? Will I support myself on the journey towards dreams? Can I commit to acting in my best interest? Am I ready to stop half-assing, self-sabotaging, disbelieving? Is Today the Day?
Saying Yes to Myself & The Journey.
🧠 <Name censored>
I feel tension between us. We're both angry. passive aggresive, and distant. It feels like there's a cloud of unresolved topics between us. We need to talk, otherwise it might turn into a violent storm.
I know some of the wrath I feel is healthy. I've been de-pressing these feelings under the surface for years now. Today, when I feel strong, they finally feel safe to resurface, be felt. I’m allowing them to come, and will continue to do so. But I don't need to act on them, I can rise above these sometimes primitive impulses.
The truth is: we both have our shortcomings, parts that make the other one furious. But it's maybe 3%. The rest is nothing but love, respect & admiration.
My objective for upcoming meeting(s) is to tap into this metta part, embody it with actions. The starting point is obvious: Open up about what's really going in my life, and ask what's going on in his. Reality check.