🙅♂️ 6 August 2023 Not Garbicz
So yeah, I didn’t go to Garbicz.
I’ve been mourning most of Today, shedding tears over a lost lover.
It’s only my fault that I didn’t go.
Just like I said to Nati - the last two months I’ve always found a way despite.
Why the fuck did I retreat this time when it really mattered?
God, I’m a stupid fucker.
Instead of dancing (even in the rain),
I’m cleaning the house.
Instead of being among beautiful, open adults,
I’m getting terrorized by a toddler.
When again did I lose my brains?
Stupido
Ok, let’s unpack and find a truer, healthier perspective
The decision not to go was driven by multiple factors:
shit weather
Hugi’s separation anxiety
upcoming trip to Warsaw + work prep I need to do
money
Each and every a valid reason in itself.
Sure, I’m missing something, but how do I know it really is/was a bad decision not to go?
Maybe if I went all that would happen is a giant furball of regret of the fiesta not living up to last year’s expectations?
Maybe I would feel at all welcome, uplifted in gloomy, depressive weather?
Maybe all that would happen is spending a shitload of money on a subpar experience, money that could be invested in other experiences, including our 5th Wedding Anniversary?
As much as it hurts not to be there, I can’t deny there are also benefits to current standing:
more resources for other adventures
time to prep properly for Wednesday's Work
Hugi charging up batteries
space to lean into work today (or being with the fam - up to me)
It’s fine, normal that I was mad, let down, FOMO-ish.
A normal reaction to letting go of something I kept close to my heart.
But hey, maybe there’s something even better incoming?
Maybe in the grander scheme of happenings, this currently hurtful situation will only bring out the goods?
Maybe I’m just rationalizing a bad decision,
sure that’s also a possibility.
But if I dug deep within, there’s a subtle voice chirping:
“it was the right choice
let go
and fill the space
with New Love”
🏖️ Amazing Things Today
🏖️ “Kicia Kocia” Cinema
Seeing Hugi this happy is one of my greatest satisfactions.
He was jumping, running, shivering with ecstasy.
What made this visit special is that all 3 of us were here - first full family cinema visit
🏖️ Jumpyville
Classic.
Pillows, blankets & high jumps.
A recipe for good times.
This time it was super special - thanks to this playtime, Hugi finally started to like me again (post Wedding separation anger)
🏖️ Afternoon work
I love what I do.
The process of working brought calm, happiness & purpose to what at times was a messy, down day.
I’m on the right track.
Ignited.