Reflections on Intense Regeneration

27 August 2024 / Boroszewo, Poland

I feel like I’ve reached a transformative point in my inner journey.

Claude named our conversation “Reflections on Intensive Regeneration” and I think he hit the nail on the head.

The last dozen of days (post Summer Contrast) was exactly that:

A time to re-assess my life priorities and operating methods.

I’ve asked myself the big questions I’ve tried to hide from in previous months.

I’ve faced the fears that consciously or not blocked my growth and caused anxiety.

I redefined what it means to be a dad, partner, employee, a human being basically, for my own purpose.

I’ve written from the heart, as if nobody was to read it, just the way I did years back when I first discovered writing-therapy.

These entries are raw.

They deal with heavy emotions.

They’re bold, bloody, unfiltered.

Maybe that’s why they helped me so much?

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For the first part of the year, I focused only on the “positive”.

Amazing moments, highlight-worthy reels, feel-good vibez all around.

It served a purpose. 

My once-depressed mind needed to get overwhelmed with light to find new balance point.

Obsessing about “the good” only did a surprising thing to me… 

I lost my depth.

I felt flat.

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Now, having ventured to the dark side again, I feel fuller.

More human.

Those unwanted “bad” feelings, fears I tried to push away, insecurities I covered up with filters, they all got heard, and found a new Home in me.

It’s of no use to cut the yin out.

Pain, anxiety, exhaustion are equal parts human as joy, kindness and beauty.

Only when I invite all feelings to come my way, I feel whole.

And somehow, the light gets Brighter too.

Love, Bartosz